The Circle of Expectations


Peace begins when Expectation ends- Sri Chinmoy

It is almost humanly impossible to give up on the expectations we have of ourselves and others. We expect our kids to obey, our friends to return the same amount of affection we give them and when this doesn’t happen, its hurts. Badly.

On one hand where it stands true that we end up expecting only from whom we have the right to, the question is: Is love some kind of a business? Or are relationships contracts? That you decide you give this much and need the same or more in return. No, right?

Each person has his own principles and requires a certain space to function and grow. It is when theirs contradicts your expectations that conflict arises. Trust me, even if for brief periods, I have been free of expectations and it feels WONDERFUL! Your heart is absolutely free from all bondage and every moment is happier. Every relationship automatically becomes more beautiful. It is a matter of putting faith in yourself, in your intent and the love you hold for another.

Honestly, our expectations end up hurting us the most and spoiling ties we consider important. They tend to affect us deeply if not fulfilled. If we look at it in the right way, they turn into lessons and help us grow a step further by understanding them, which has led me to write this piece. These experiences will keep repeating in life, for we have to keep reminding ourselves what we are truly made of, until we do not completely understand it.

Humans are hungry for happiness. We tend to attach these positive emotions like happiness to others, to friends, to family and situations without realizing that all of these are fleeting moments destined to become memories. They are transient. Hence, any happiness dependent on them also becomes transient.

The truth is happiness is you, it is within yourself. It is destroyed due to an expectation that “Oh, this person makes me truly happy!”Expectations are burdens not just for us, but also for the other person. He may have umpteen other things to take care of. In the midst of all that he has to also take care of you. It ultimately erodes all that was blissful in the relationship.

Again, it isn’t healthy to run away from your conflicts and expectations. It is only when you face them head on that you can work upon them. Setting up realistic expectations for oneself can help achieve goals. That depends from person to person.

When they become difficult to deal with: Accept them, Embrace them. The process of letting them go will become much easier.